I posted this blog entry three months ago but I accidentally added it as a page and not a post! So this was from March not June!
Hubby and I had an argument last night. The same one we always have which is about having babies. We both want one (him more than I do) but my Emet just gets in the way.
I am sure this is a common theme amongst Emetophobes as they don’t want to go through pregnancy (I think something like 99% of emet sufferers are female) or worry that they won’t be able to handle the child being sick.
Last year my hubby and I decided it was time to have a baby. My emet was in a good place, it felt under control and we were both ready. But it went really wrong. My emet went crazy and I ended up having a nervous breakdown.
My sister is now having a baby and we met my cousins baby at the weekend and I think it made my husband broody (it did me a little). We had an argument about him meeting up with one of his female friends as I got all insecure saying he will go off with them as I can’t give him what he wants. This is what started the argument.
Anyway, I am now in a position where I really want a child but I can’t even handle the nausea I get from my IBS or the nausea I get from my period whilst I am on the pill. What am I going to do when I come off it? How am I going to cope my the nausea my hormones will cause? I know they will as they did last time. I have finally settled on the pill but I so badly want a baby and can’t be on that then!
I’ve got to do Thrive again and try and Thrive. I need to come to terms with the issues outstanding such as my desire for control, my disgust propensity, and my inability to tolerate uncomfortable feelings.