Today I am back with the chronic fatigue symptoms. My whole body hurts and my eyes feel like they are hitting the floor. I felt like that on Wednesday as well. I am being looked at for Chronic Fatigue but I also know that anxiety can cause fatigue.
On Tuesday I was fairly anxious because I was being seen by the local mental health service. I don’t really remember being particularly anxious but I guess I was. I do remember having throat nausea on the way home from work. I had only done one full day at work and felt a bit strange going home at lunchtime when I should have been challenging my phobia. That is probably why I was so tired on Wednesday (as well as normal tiredness of having to do a full week at work). The tiredness made me a little anxious on Wednesday and I remember having to fight the nausea off a little in the afternoon. This made me extremely anxious about going to work on the Thursday and I woke up in a full blown panic attack (that was fun!). So yesterday I spent the whole day in heightened anxiety. My head hurt by the end of the day as well as my neck. I felt very sick in the afternoon (writing that has made me panic about this afternoon – stop it, it’s a negative thought – you will be able to cope) and just felt rubbish. I guess that was because I was tired from the morning of anxiety and the panic attack. I assume that can make you tired (though I often get tired in the afternoon). (Again that has set me off worrying about this afternoon – you will be able to cope, you will keep busy and forget how tired you are and then make it to the end of the day – you can cope – you won’t be sick).
I did my exercise last night but did it half-heartedly. I then tried to read some Thrive (my consultant recommended that I start from the beginning again especially as I was so depressed before that I probably didn’t do it correctly) but I couldn’t really concentrate on it. I then started moving things in our spare room ready for Sparky but again I was doing it on autopilot. I went to bed at 9.30 as I was so tired and actually went out like a light! It has been taking me over half an hour to fall asleep recently but I don’t remember laying there for very long last night. So I must have been tired. I remember waking up at 4.30 and then suddenly it was 6. I wonder if that combined with the anxiety from yesterday meant that I didn’t get the restorative sleep that I needed and so will struggle today? I feel like I have the flu, like I have a fever and my stomach is full of gas. It’s horrible.
It seems to happen after a period of stress. Like my body just can’t cope and gives up.
My stomach feels so full of air and I keep burping. I keep feeling my stomach kind of lurch but I think that is the air in it. But of course my brain tells me that it is because I am going to be sick. Now think brain, you have had this symptom many times before and it hasn’t made you sick. You are gassy because you are tired, at the end of your period and have just been for a long walk. You will be fine and will not be sick at all so stop it. Even if you were sick you would be able to handle it. No one would think bad of you and you could cope. But the feeling you are getting in your throat is wind trying to push its way up not sick. Otherwise you would feel a lot worse than you do right now.
Every time I think about nausea it scares me, much more than the thought of being sick (which is stupid as the reason nausea scares me is because I think it will make me sick). But nausea is something that happens quite regularly and being sick isn’t. Need to stop feeling panicky about something that may or may not happen (though it is likely when I am tired) and realise that even if it happens I can cope and it is unlikely to make me sick. So stop brooding Jen!
My stomach is churning away. I get this feeling of being really hungry then it will do the lurch thing, gurgle, I can feel everything moving and then the hunger feeling goes away. It makes me panic that I will be sick. But this is the feeling I have been getting the whole time. You know it won’t make you sick at all. It hasn’t the last four months so why would it this time? This is what being bloated feels like, you know it won’t make you sick now stop it!
Right now, at 15.20, despite my stomach feeling off, full of gas and churning, I actually feel quite calm. Remember this, you felt calm and actually quite comfortable. The sun is out, the fan is blowing on your with fresh air and you feel calm! CALM!!
I also want to know why I get starving hungry when I am nervous or exited? It is weird. What is it that is happening in my stomach that causes this?